Bone Keeper - Tentacle Beasties Go Spelunking!

 

Howard J Ford’s Bone Keeper starts with quite a literal bang as a comet hits Earth, unleashing a tentacular beast upon the land that promptly devours a group of Stone Age cave dwellers. Years later, a hapless documentarian wanders into the creature’s cave lair and is also swallowed whole. Fast forward again and his daughter has gone missing while investigating that same cave, leading her own daughter to gather a group of friends and head out to see if the rumoured Bone Keeper cryptid is responsible for picking off her family line. On the way they meet John Rhys-Davies’ cave expert, who warns them against seeking out the creature, but of course they ignore him thanks to a healthy mix of skepticism and idiocy.

An entertaining cosmic B-horror, Bone Keeper balances wafer-thin characters and overly familiar plotting with strong effects work, both practical and digital. Ford is a solid director and there’s undeniable style to a lot of the setpeices, as well as a distinct aesthetic and some great night time sequences. Everything else, particularly the writing, feels in-keeping with a budget creature feature.  

The titular monster is used sparingly in the first half, which makes its full reveal later on far more effective. A mass of tentacles, spines, and teeth coated in slime, it’s a striking creation that recalls the Lovecraftian aquatic horrors seen in Stephen Sommer’s Deep Rising.

There are several other influences the film wears proudly. Most obvious is its resemblance to The Descent, another British horror in which one member of the group has tragic motivations for crawling through a dark place filled with monsters. 

Elsewhere there is a nice riff on An American Werewolf in London’s pub scene, as the group tries to gather information about the cave and are met with distinctly unfriendly locals.

Once the group enters the cave and starts getting picked off one by one, you’ll realise how little you care about these poeple and are just waiting to see how many of them get eaten.

They don’t offer much else, other than wildly idiotic decisions. This is the kind of film where someone willingly enters a cave to hunt a potentially murderous creature called the Bone Keeper, then decides it is a good idea to poke a lethal-looking spiny tentacle hanging from the wall.

Despite the shortcomings of its characters, the film is a fun, if derivative, monster flick. The final act is especially enjoyable, with Rhys-Davies’ grizzled professor sending in the cavalry. Things take on a Resident Evil-like turn as a tactical squad take on the horrors with automatic weapons.